THE BJORN DOW JONES INDEX

FUNNY THING

2006-08-31T11:30:00.000-07:00

I found this over on Sneakmove. Just goes to show that a good performance is all about having the right audience, eh.

THE WEEK IN METAL

2006-08-31T11:12:00.000-07:00

Last time it was Slayer's new album, this time it's the new Iron Maiden album, A Matter of Life & Death. It's almost too much for me, weak human that I am.

I'm not going to pretend hearing a new Iron Maiden album is easy, with excessive amounts of rose tinted nostalgia comes ridiculously high expectations ( see the Star Wars prequel trilogy for more on this) and I wasn't mad on The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg, which isn't to say I didn't like it, if you get me. So, having only listened through once, I think it's going to be a grower, which certainly isn't a first time experience with an Iron Maiden album, in fact Dance of Death was one of the few albums that got me early on, and we're still talking second or third listen here.

UPDATE - Just finished my second listen and, well, I think I love it, I've even identified my stage 1 favourite tracks, being These Colours Don't Run, get the tempo change on the chorus plus an woh-oh-woh bit, and The Longest Day, which weirdly enough has a cool tempo change chorus too, spooky, a really cool quietish beginning bit and ace guitar solos.

All in all it's, cue music journo cliche, totally Maiden - which if you want a fuller description of such sentiments kind've feels like the bits in Lord of the Rings when things go right for the heroes, but without the over emotional facial expressions.

WHAT NEXT?

2006-08-30T14:14:00.000-07:00

Every so often i just get bored of writing this thing, whether it's because stupid savefile won't let me upload any songs or I simply haven't got anything to write about (or, more usually the time to write it).

But another reason is that most of the time the stuff I write is little more than reportage and lists, with about three words of opinion, which is so wrong given that I consider myself fairly opinionated (not in an obnoxious way though, you understand)

So from now on, my posts are going to be a bit longer, maybe not as easy to read (not that they ever really are) and frothing with opinion, hopefully.

EXTREMES

2006-08-18T06:06:00.000-07:00

It doesn't get much better than a new Slayer album especially one with the original line up, yes the original line up!!! I want to see them live and Morbid Angel but who will go with me to these things??

Nobody, that's who. (Plus Morbid Angel played yesterday, so it's, well, impossible).

I remember seeing Morbid Angel at the LA2 back in blah blah blah.... but it was like Satan was actually helping out, especially on drums, Pete Sandoval is pretty damn close to Dave Lomardo's amazingness.

The main point of this post was to say that I was even more right about metal's comeback. Look the darlings of the indie-ish scene, Bonde Do Role, just rap over metal records in like a funny baby language (sorry speakers of Portugese, that was very patronising). But if I knew what she was saying it would be nowehere near as cool.

Even Julian Cope agrees and who's going to argue with him?

Oh yeah and Junior Boys are very good live, even if the Luminaire was rammed with liggers. I reckon I was the only person who paid to get in.

Slayer - Jihad (topical) and Catatonic (a slowy)
Morbid Angel - Lion's Den ( a classic)
Junior Boys - Count Souvenirs

THREE GIRLS

2006-08-07T03:34:00.000-07:00

Pottymouth was a much better experience than Club NME, even though I played only 3.5 songs, they were 3.5 very good songs so I'm happy.

Bonde do Role - Melo de Tabaca (Audioclit remix)
Young & Restless - Black
Galaxian!!! -
Siouxsie & the Banshees - Love in a Void

Despite a collection of weirdos who'd have put the Star Wars cantina scene patrons to shame, (including one off-her face girl who decided to go topless and bite the rear of one of the performers while everyone did their best to ignore her. Silly Cow.) it was all really rather wholesome given that the Spread Eagle is an astounding dive.

The bands were all pretty damn cool, first up was Starvation Box - a kind've Courtney Love-esque garage-y thing, with an inverted White Stripes pretension (ie. boy drummer, girl guitarist/ singer). Check out Dead Today with it's Wendy O Williams-like snarlings.

Second up was Mary Luxemburg and the Black Bats whose super-distorted guitar sound I was loving. And bless 'em they even gave me a shout out for playing Love in a Void. If only there were more people like that, sigh. Listen to Blonde Red.

And finally winning the coveted weird-as-hell-but-funny-and-catchy award was Naomi, whose myspace pictures would suggest a predilection for exhibitionism, but who managed to keep her clothes on for the performance, despite popular opnion too much nudity is a bad thing. Just a girl and her laptop making bleepy pop sings was good enough to persuade me to buy two CDs off her.Here's a song off one of them - Rien Que Ca.

SLIGHTLY OBSCURE ITALO DISCO

2006-08-05T12:46:00.000-07:00

Super Radio are my new friend on Myspace, don't know much about them. I think they're a label and they have some fricking amazing Italo Disco acts on there, the most well-known to me being Camaro's Gang, who I believe were on I-F's Mixed Up In The Hague vol 1 (they were the days, sigh).

Their website is pretty cheapo looking, but they make up for it with the soft focus images from the 80s heyday of ID (see pic).

Anyway, I love Italo Disco, I'd forgotten all about it, well apart from like Zombi who are quite Italo.

Here's some for listening pleasure.

RAF - Self Control
Check Up Twins - Sexy Teacher
Lectric Workers - Robot is Systematic
Camaro's Gang - Bronx

IF YOU THOUGHT THE MAG WAS BAD....

2006-08-05T12:39:00.000-07:00

Club NME was the usual shambolic affair.

Speakers sounded crap, didn't get paid enough, too few drinks tokens. Their turnover of DJs must be higher than for McDonald's staff.

I played:

Freakplasma - Punk It
Bonde Do Role - Melo do Tobaco (Radioclit remix)
BYOP - We Will Vacation, You Will Be My Parasol
Joan Jett - Bad Reputation
Young & Restless - Black
Prototypes - Tir Aux Pigeons
Debbie Harry - I Want That Man
Dolly Parton - Burning
Fleetwood Mac - Little Lies
Pat Benatar - Heartbreaker
Heart - Barracuda
GnR - You Could Be Mine

But no-one got into it, harumph.

Can't be bothered putting any songs up...

oh okay have Bonde do Role - Danca da Ventuinha (I'm well getting into them now)

DEAD DISCO

2006-08-05T12:25:00.000-07:00

Speaking of quality female musicians, Dead Disco totally stole the show at Club Fandango - a kindof weird collection of suburban indie kids - last Tuesday. I can't remember the names of the other bands playing - says it all really. Even though they are without doubt the tiniest band ever seen (yes, smaller than The Like) I'll go for quality over quantity any day.

I have this theory that because there are fewer female musicians/bands that it's easier for girl bands to sound original simply because there are fewer precedents to be influenced by. With guy bands it always sounds like they're trying to be 'The Beach Boys' or 'The Clash' or whoever and it just sounds totally lame. Especially when they try and rip off the vocal style or add in some really inappropriate harmony to their generic indie bilge.

DD just don't sound like anything else at the moment, or possibly ever, and believe it or not they write GOOD SONGS rather than wasting their energy on trying to be the new (insert influential band name here).

And they were really friendly and chatty (see picture) and even did an interview for Pamflet (the best fanzine in the world, ask Vogue) which may or may not have recorded.

The City

NO SWEETS

2006-08-05T09:58:00.000-07:00

Aw, last week the NFT's Access All Areas season came to an end and I saw far fewer films than I wanted to which isn't a major surprise, I only see about two things at the cinema a year just because going there takes up so goddam much of the evening and is way too expensive(I do LOVE the pick n mix sweets though, even if the film's are often a bit shit). Mainly I missed Some Kind've Monster.

Sadly the NFT doesn't do sweets, I think you can actually get booted out for eating them during a screening (yeah, they're called 'screenings' in the NFT). So it was a good job the recordings of live performances from Kate Bush and Siouxsie and the Bansees were really fricking good, so good that I wanted to become a goth for a day or two afterwards.

On top of some of the best music ever, it was so good to see a couple of complete weirdos doing their stuff with absolute confidence. Kate Bush was easily the weirdest of the two, her mime/contemporary dance show getting a lot of inappropriate laughs from the mentally retarded 50 somethings who made up most of the audience. Alot of said 50 somethings also left at the beginning of and more annoyingly, during the Siouxsie and the Banshees stuff. I called them 'squares' in quite a loud voice.

Here's Wow off Lionheart by Kate Bush because, well, it says it all.

And howabout Israel off Once Upon a Time: the singles by Siouxsie and the Bs, because that's the song they opened with, and you know it's kind've topical and all.

Lord Bruce

2006-07-25T03:55:00.000-07:00

Just look at this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It goes without saying that Bruce is so the coolest rock star ever that Elvis should be stripped of his erstwhile title and Bruce crowned 'THE KING' from this day forward.

Long live Bruce, long live Bruce etc.

Listen to Powerslave, the most appropriate song I could find, you know Pharoahs were like Egyptian kings, yeah.

LOVELIFE setlist: 24th July

2006-07-25T03:00:00.000-07:00

Yeah, go boyfriend-girlfriend teams of djs, we showed the 20 or so people who turned up at 93 Feet East who's boss (once we actually had electricity).

I did 3 sets this time:

Number 1
Giorgio Moroder -
Junior Boys - Count Souvenirs
The Grates - Sukkafish
Love is All - Make Out
Freakplasma - Punk It
Erase Errata - Tax Dollar
Prototypes - Who's Gonna Sing
Ms John Soda - Scan the Ways
Debbie Harry - In Love With Love

Number 2
Suzi Quatro - I Wanna Be Your Man
The Violets - Hiero
X - Los Angeles
Tigs - BRC
The Long Blondes - Fulwood Babylon
The Sounds - Painted By Numbers
OMD - Electricity
Paula - Als Es Passierte
Animotion - I Engineer (remix)
Crazy Gang - Telephone Computer
Wang Chung - Fire in the Twilight
The Gossip - Listen Up (MSTRKRFT remix)
Boytronic - Bryllyant
New Young Pony Club - Get Dancey
Holy Hail - Born of a Star
Dangerous Dan vs Van She - Around the World in 5.07 (Again)

And Part 3
Alexander Robotnick - The Dark Side of the Spoon (original version)
Bondage Fairies - Faze
Sleater Kinney - Oh
Young & Restless - Dirty Kicks
Bondo do Role - Melo do Tabaca (Radioclit remix)
Duchess Says - Black Flag
Uffie - Hot Chick
Does it Offend You - We Are Rockstars
Peaches - Downtown (Simiam Mobile Disco remix)
Peaches - Do Ya
CSS - Lets Make Love and Listen to DFA (Spank Rock remix)
YYYs - Cheated Hearts (Peaches remix)
Prototypes - Tir Aux Pigeons

Prototypes are my new favourite band for this week and this week only. I somehow managed to miss their album last year (maybe that's because it wasn't released over here 'til this year). What's going on with French music, that must be, like, 4 good bands of Gallic descent I've counted now. My favourite tracks from the album are Tir Aux Pigeons and who's Gonna Sing.

I also quite like The Grates' new album, they've decided to be a bit more tuneful than their EPs, which makes listening to a whole album of it a whole lot easier. Sukkafish is so weird it's cool, with it's bluegrass verses and commercial rock chorus bit. (While I'm at it, what's with all the good Australian music?!)

Which isn't to say I don't like a bit of noise, as you well know, courtesy of Mika Miko this time round who manage to do a very convincing 'Le Tigre band practice circa 1997' with The Dress.

Honorable mention goes out to Pardom My Freedom for scoring 2 new Uffie tracks - Hot Chick being my preference on this occasion. She's a funny little thing isn't she.

The Decline of Western Civilization

2006-07-21T02:23:00.000-07:00

You know that metal phase? It got a whole lot worse last night when I saw The Decline of Western Civilization Part 2: The Metal Years at the NFT (whose Access All Areas season literally rocked). I own it on VHS but it was so much cooler seeing it big.

Clearly the coolest thing about it is Megadeth's 'no poseur bollocks' rendition of In My Darkest Hour, oh yeah, and the bit were Ozzy tries to pour some orange juice into a glass and misses (even though it was really added in post production)

RETURN OF THE METAL HORDES

2006-07-09T13:55:00.000-07:00

Every so often I just lapse back into metal, I don't mean to it just happens, like returning to the womb, minus the warmth, comfort and safety etc. Resistance is by and large futile.

To be fair I'm not just listening to any old metal here, Great White this is not - we're talking Finnish mytho-folk metallers Amorphis, who blew me away with their 2nd and 3rd albums back in the 90s and who return to fiddle-dee-dee form with their latest release Eclipse. The singer occasionally goes a little bit Nickleback (urgh) but by and large this is equal parts epic, dark and earthy. Check Brother Moon

DarkThrone give us the good old old skool biscuit barrel style and manage to produce the catchiest black metal album since Under the Sign of the Black Mark, The Cult is Alive, indeed it is. Check Shut Up AND The Cult of Goliath

You would be right to say 'what the hell have The Gathering got to do with metal hordes?' and you'd be right, but they used to be metal (remember that?) so they're staying here, plus every female fronted symphonic-goth-orchestral-medieval dress-wearing female fronted band has ripped Anneke van Giersbergen's vocal style off ever since. The new album, Home, is pretty melancholic, but in a nice light way that doesn't make you want to kill yourself, just weep into your pillow 'til sunrise. Check In Between

Finally those lords of Viking Metal, you guessed it Enslaved have come back with yet another classic premium cut of epic-prog-black-edda-inspired metal with Ruun. Perhaps not for Sunday afternoon lisening with your girlfriend, but a killer all the same. Check Fusion of Sense and Earth

Also check out Ian Miller - easily the best artist ever at doing evil twisted stuff. Warhammer 4 eva.

Noisey: Duchess Says & We Are Wolves

2006-07-08T10:01:00.000-07:00

Why do some bands sound so totally different live to their recordings??

I figured Duchess Says were a sort of electro/new wave band with only a touch of the disharmonic about them, but heck no, live they are fricking well hard, semi death grunt/hardcore shouting eye-rolling frontwoman, massively distorted weird keyboard noises, in the context of truly sweaty boho dive and shite PA system - the keyboardist didn't really need to wear the Crass t-shirt to get the message across, Duchess Says want to be punks, hardcore, LA late 70s style. And they do it so good.

Black Flag is definitely my favourite track of theirs.

Only caught a few of We Are Wolves songs. They were a little less noisey, or maybe my ears had just got used to the sound, would have liked to have hung around for me, but bed was calling my name and I couldn't stomach any more pissy white wine. T.R.O.U.B.L.E starts off sort of Neu!ish then goes a bit sort of Suicide-ish.

Oh, the irony

2006-07-05T05:32:00.000-07:00

And I thought no-one read this.

Apparently the guys at Barden's Boudoir do and they kindly quoted my damning review of Cleckhuddersfax (I'm quoated on their Myspace page to, although I'm not 100% on the 'indie kid' tag) in their weekley mail out (and on their website too), but - and get this - they used it to PROMOTE the band!!!!!!! Why, those pesky little so and sos...

...and the buggers didn't even have the manners to put up a link.

Lovelife 3rd July 06

2006-07-05T05:30:00.000-07:00

It was so hot, but thanks to the big fan behind the dj bit it was actually a lovely experience.

Managed to catch two Shimura Curves songs in the main room, before being dragged back to music duties, they were as splendid as ever.

my set sounded like this...

Number 1
The Left Outsides - Losing Touch Withe My Mind
Kirk deGeorgio presents Esoterik - Starwaves
The Dominatrix - The Dominatrix Sleeps Tonight
Lorena C - Rock Your Body
Temposhark ft Imogen Heap - Not That Big (Metronomy remix)
2raumwhong - Ich und Elaine
Sally Shapiro - I'll be by Your Side
Peaches - Do it Hard
Young & Restless - Dirty Kick
Schwervon - Swamp Thing
X - Nausea
Tigs - Something New
Fuzzbox - Self
The Long Blondes - Weekend Without Makeup
Stevie Nicks - I Can't Wait
Eagle & Talon - Dropped Down
Siouxsie & the Banshees - Love in a Void
Starlet Suicide - Try to Break Me
Sleater Kinney - You're No Rock n Roll Fun
Kait0 - Catnap

Number 2
Glass Candy - Etheric Device
Bizarre Music Machine - BMM
Betty Botox - Xantac
Zeigeist - Tar Heart
YYYs - Gold Lion (Nick Zinner remix)
Snuten ft Fox n Wolf - Wild & Free
Galaxian!!! - Domingo
Bikini Kill - I Like Fucking
Young & Restless - Black
Be Your Own PET - We Will Vacation, You Can be My Parasol
The Sounds - Tony the Beat
Vivien Lee - Alright
Martika - I Feel the Earth Move
Cansie de ser Sexy - This Month Day 10
Paula - Als Es Passierte
Debbie Harry - I Want That Man

I love Eagle and Talon, they seem like a couple of down to earth girls despite being from LA, just, like, making some cool music - Dropped Down. Get the rest of their EP from their website.

I also love Tigs kind've reminds me of Blondie but a bit harder, sortof - BCR (get the album (7" and badge and patch) for just £6 by joining the fanclub).

And last but not least KaitO - Catnap - 3 years no album, what are you doing?? Ah, I see, they're in the middle of making it.

NEW GENRES: No ONE

2006-06-30T08:10:00.000-07:00

Introducing....

INDIECORE

'Core' is such an overused suffix when it comes to genre nomenclature, I'm not 100% sure what it means but given the precedents I'm willing to put my money on hard, noisey, fast and, as such, really fricking annoying - see GrindCORE, HardCORE, QueerCORE etc. etc.

So what the hell is indiecore?? Other than a stupid made up genre with an unoriginal name??

It's the antithesis of wet, whining, twee, simpering, limp-wristed, self-pitying indie.

I suppose a less pretentious man than I would simply say it's indie with punk attitude but how boring is that, I mean with so many blogs out there people just don't have time to read prosaic or long-winded music descriptions do they...

The Kings and Queens of INDIECORE =

Young & Restless = soon to be the most popular band ever from Australia, they are well harder than any other indie band. Black

Von Iva = why don't they hurry up and release some damn new material?? Maybe because one of them has gone off to have a baby, aw. Jillian Iva is harder than all The Killers put together. Showboat.

Channels 3 and 4 = utterly noisey, shouting and stuff, songs that are songs are really short Grindcore style. The Queen.

Be Your Own PET = even though NME love them, they actually deserve it because they play really fast and even do the odd guitar solo. We Will Vacation...

Todd = scary and noisy and fast, the grindiest so far. Hog Blood River

Mutators = I don't know if it was recorded in a bin or they just made it sound like it was recorded in a bin, suffice to say they're just fricking sick and have the best Myspace picture ever. Hmm, don't seem able to download any music off Myspace at the moment, you'll just have to listen to a song of there's on there.

AIDS Wolf = best ever source of stupid names: special deluxe, hiroshima thunder, barbarian destroyer, him, the maji and, er, mark mclean. We Multiply.

that's all for now, will keep you posted on the emerging dukes, earls, counts and squires of indiecore...

Out of touch

2006-05-30T13:58:00.000-07:00

Jeesus, fricking, Christ I haven't posted anything for ever (almost). So here's my...

....set list from last Tuesday's Pamflet IV launch party at Sketch....

I haven't got a clue what order I played this lot in.

the Left Outsides - Leaving the Frozen Butterflies Behind
Blondie - Sunday Girl (French version)
The Gossip - Standing in the Way of Control
The Sounds - Tony the Beat
The YYYs - Gold Lion
Young & Restless - Satan
Siouxsie & the Banshees - Christine
X - Nausea
The Long Blondes - Giddy Stratospheres
The Like - What I Mean and What I Say
The Runaways - Queens of Noise
Girlschool - Take it All Away
Danielle Dax - Cathouse
Pretty Vicious - Hollywood Forever
Lene Lovich - I Think We're Alone Now
The Would be Goods - Miss La Di Dah
Cansei de ser Sexy - Meeting Paris Hilton
Linda Ronstadt - Tumbling Dice
Bikini Kill - I Like Fucking
Peaches - Two Guys

....And my Club NME setlist from the Friday before last (with Peaches Geldof in support)

I can't remember the order again think it went something like this (I was quite drunk):

YYYs - Gold Lion
Siouxsie & the Banshees - Spellbound
Sabrina - Boys
Falco - Der Kommissar
Yazoo - Don't Go
Fox n Wolf - In Yr Underwear
Kim Wilde - Never Trust a Stranger
The Sounds - Tony the Beat
Motorhead (ft Wendy O Williams) - No Class
Cansie de ser Sexy - Meeting Paris Hilton
Lene Lovich - I Think We're Alone Now
Shannon Let the Music Play
Joan Jett - Bad Reputation
Au Pairs - Inconvenience
The Long Blondes - Seperated by Motorways (Sexmatronic remix)
Iron Maiden - The Number of the Beast

and, um, some other songs maybe....

What I didn't play is this or maybe I did - Lorena C - Rock Your Body, kind've like Yelle a bit, but a little more Euro-cheese (that's a positive by the way).

Couple of Peaches tracks on Pardon My Freedom, veeerrry good. This one is really great too - Boys Wanna be Her. In fact the whole damn album is doing it for me.

And a MSTRKRFT song - She's Good For Business (not especially keen on the rest of the album, mind).

And just have to mention these guys Young & Restless, that have been mentioned on loads of blogs, but are worth mentioning again because they are kicking ass.

LoveLife Set list 8th May 2006

2006-05-09T02:47:00.000-07:00

Set 1
Glass Candy - Life Before Sunset
Thomas Dolby - The Wreck of the Fairchild
The Hot Springs - Cacodisco
Mynx - I'm so LA
RAF - Self Control
B52s - Mesopotamia
Stereolab - Visionary Road Maps
The Organ - Memorize the City
Zombi - Sapphire
Junior Boys - Like a Child
Barbara Morgenstern - The Operator
Ladyfuzz - Monster
The Charades - Who Wanna Dance Now
The Fallout Trust - Before the Light Goes Out (Simian remix)
The Dresden Dolls - Sex Changes
YYYs - De Ja Vu
The Rogers Sisters - Never Learn to Cry
Caged Baby - Hello There (Presets mix)
Jenny Wilson - Let My Shoes Lead me Forward (The Knife remix)
Debbie Harry - Dirty & Deep

Set 2
Vicarious Bliss - Theme from Vicarious Bliss (Justice mix)
ARE Weapons - Keys, Money, Cigarettes
Whitey - Wrap it Up
Dsico - I've Danced Enough
Cat5 - Stretch & Bend
Christopher & Raphael Just - Popper (feat. Fox n Wolf)
Mystery Jets - The Boy who Ran Away (Riton rerub)
Ms John Soda - No One
Sexual Harassment - Exercise Your Ass Off
Fox n Wolf - In Yr Underwear
Falco - Der Kommissar
Kylie Minogue - Come into my World (Fischerspooner remix)
We Start Fires - Hot Metal
Yelle - Short Dick Cuizi
New Young Pony Club - Get Dancey
The Long Blondes - Sexmatronic
Transformer di Roboters - Hi End

I've got this issue with dance music songs being way too long and this SO proves it, I only managed to fit 18 songs into a set of over 65 minutes against my average of, well, loads more.

Anyway, I'm going to do something that I haven't done before and that I'm particularly bad at, that is..... link the blogs from whom I've downloaded so much of the music I've played - it seems only fair after all.

Now I can't promise I'm going to remember everybody's name, nor the songs I've downloaded, but heck, with Google blog search at my side I'm going to try my best.

So, 20 Jazz Funk Greats is easily one of the greatest blogs alive (just check my set list if you're reading guys) - they have given me Fox n Wolf - In Yr Underwear amongst many other greats, including Transformer di Roboter - Hi End, Zombi and lots more...

Big Stereo are also great, that's where I found Yelle - Short Dick Cuizi, and Debbie Harry's new one.

The Prettiest Pony have doled out copious amounts of MSTRKRFT (see past set lists) and gave me ARE Weapons - Keys, Money, Cigarettes this time round.

For all my girl-music needs I go to Buscate un Novio even though I don't know any Spanish.

The Junior Boys track came from Keep it Coming, thanks, they're ace.

On a completely different note, I love these two songs, even though they're, yes, the same song by different bands. Dark Throne do a, well, black metal version of Love in a Void by Sioxsie & the Banshees so if you like black metal you'll like it, the cool thing is that the original version of Love in a Void is an on-the-cheap punk song that doesn't sound too different anyway.

And my favourite new song that I got off a blog is Glitterbeat - Stand Up (but I can't remember which blog I found it on)

Buy Dark Throne - Too Old, Too Cold
Buy Siouxsie & the Banshees - Once Upon a Time: the singles

Hipster Bashing

2006-05-04T06:15:00.000-07:00

This is from one of the coolest articles (or collection of articles, there are parts 1, 2, 4 & 5 too) I have ever read, way better than crap like the Hipster Handbook (seriously, I've never heard anyone say 'deck', ever) - this is my favourite bit -

"..hipsters make no pretense to divisions on principle, to forming
intellectual or artistic camps; at any given moment it is the same books,
records, films that are judged au courant by all, leading to the curious
spectacle of an "alternative" culture more unanimous than the mainstream it
ostensibly opposes."
It's like the symbols of hipster-ness (bands, books, films, clothes, places to hang out) = exclusivity, but exclusivity outside of group consensus just = being a 'freak'. The contradiction inherent within hipsterness would then be that they are afraid of becoming the very thing they outwardly aspire to be, hmm.

I don't actually have a problem with the existence of hipsters/trendies or whatever, they add some much needed colour to the urban fauna of our cities, but it's best when they're low in numbers. I don't know whether to blame the internet, Top Shop or Kate Moss, but the numbers have increased dramatically over the past year and are now reaching critical mass, where every suburban middle class kid is sporting emo hair, skinny jeans and a vintage dress (the latter is mainly just girls). None of these faux-indie kids sport the geeky/saddo nature of the indie kids of years gone by, they're just horrible little slags and braying lads dressed in the soft woolen skin of indie-dom.

Anyway, hipsters seem to be getting it at the moment what with this and this and this (although that last one isn't anywhere near as funny as the first two. Who the hell is Charles Bukowski? Oh wait, I'm on the internet, I know who he is now) and it's about damn time.

So, onto the music, hmmm, not sure what to post. My Last FM chart isn't looking too bad this week, so how about Cat5 - Stretch & Bend, a song I haven't seen on a single other blog which makes a change. And Ms John Soda - No One a song I've seen on many blogs, but I'm sure another won't hurt and finally to keep the geek contingent happy Megadeth - Holy Wars... the Punishment Due (this IS their best song ever).

Buy Cat5 - Stretch & Bend (it took me fricking ages to track this one down)

Buy Ms John Soda - Notes and the Like

Buy Megadeth - Rust in Peace

Postscript: yes, I did go to a Flash Mob, but only once. I'm not a hipster, honest, I hate Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, and if they're not cool anymore, well that just proves my point.

GLAM!

2006-04-28T02:11:00.000-07:00

Boredom at work can result in many activities, most of which involve the internet in some way - by far the easiest to fall into and undoubtedly the least rewarding is to randomly click your way through the profiles of strangers' 'friends' on Myspace.

On this occasion however I uncovered a whole cross atlantic 'glam metal' (not 'hair metal', that term was invented by a journalist who wrote for The Face in 2001. No wait, according to Wikipedia it was in fact invented by MTV in the 90s. Whatever.) scene, that seems to have its dual centres in Hollywood and Stockholm, pretty weird. I also have reports from the ground that the same thing is happening in LA. I want to go.

This guy sums it up pretty well, as does his friend Marky de Sade. It would be too easy to put the boot in and slag them off but being intrepid and open-minded I listened to some of their stuff and, oh shit, I even liked some of it. Especially these - Starlet Suicide - Try to Break Me. They kind of sound like The Sounds mixed with The Runaways but with some metal style twiddly bits (not The Killers), but words are as nothing to the sound. These ones have actually captured the most authentic glam metal sound I've heard so far, which they should be both proud and ashamed of. Problem with most of these bands is that they want to do a GnR and mix sleazy hard rock with punk so most of them end up sounding like Green Day (yuck). Think these guys have kind've nailed it (Twisted Sister?) but their sound is so bad it's hard to tell

I think there is actually a small scene in the UK (well, 2 bands anyway) one of whom I saw in Camden about 2 years ago, but I can't remember their name. Something about prostitutes.

Here's Metal Rules Top 50 Glam Metal bands of all time. Now they've put Love/Hate at no. 37. I personally believe it was a bit of a master piece, listen - Love /Hate - She's an Angel (for the 'mommy took the strings off your bass / so you don't hang yourself' line alone). I also preferred Slave to the Grind by Skid Row, not that that will mean much to anybody.

Buy Love/Hate - Blackout in the Red Room

Buy Skid Row - Slave to the Grind

Buy Starlet Suicide stuff

Indie KIDS

2006-04-18T05:33:00.000-07:00

Oh look Hanson have gone indie! No wait that's actually Panic! at the Disco

Normally I'd say I was getting old, but that isn't enough to explain how fresh faced these little critters look. Look at their little pink cheeks and fluffy hair. Aw, and they've got a big orange ball, I bet 'catch' is their favourite game.

Thursday's 'Adventures in the Beetroot Field' at Fabric (yes even Fabric want a piece of the indie pie) merely confirmed my suspicions that indie-style nursery rhymes are just round the corner.

It was rampant with the under age who got under foot, overexcited and on my nerves, throwing up after one too many (actually just make that one) vodka and cokes. I actually envy them that bit because beer cost £3.90 a tiny bottle and spirit and mixer over £4. Frick. It reminded me why I hate Fabric.

Indie has always had a rather large fey side, but even when kids were doing it they were slightly shabby looking not pre-pubescent public school boys (I blame Busted/McFly etc.)

At this stage I'd say thank the lord for indie girls showing the boys how to do it properly, but my water tight argument sprung a leak after hearing The Organ (memorise the city). They sound like the girl version of Coldplay/Keane/Coldplay/wet indie band etc. Actually that's really harsh, they're not that bad, in fact they have the jangly 80s indie sound down pretty good.

Anyway here's some grumpy / noisey / grubby girl indie. First The Vibration - The Violets - Hiero who promise lots of new MP3s on their website. And finally The Demolition Doll Rods -

A Quiet Week

2006-04-10T06:39:00.000-07:00

I don't really have much to say, but feel compelled to write something because of this things (my blog) existence.

The reality is that some weeks music is really important, other weeks it seems to be less so and while admittedly this blog purports to do more than talk about just music , in reality that is what the subject usually is.

So, although no-one can see from the position of this post (I really have to sort out the stupid columns so the one on the right isn't squashed underneath the middle one) I have my Last FM weekly chart on display for all the world, or rather potentially all the world to see. Which could make null and void my weekly 'Top of My Pops' post. On second thoughts, I think I'll carry on doing them anyway, mainly because I want to. Guess I better get to work on it.

Other Things: Saw some god awful band called CLECKHUDDERSFAX at Bardens Boudoir re-opening night. Both the opening and the band were shambolic in every way, which I think the organisers actually encourage in a vain attempt to appear anarchic and well, 'Dalston'. Most of their set sounded like Black Dice's out takes (look, Black Dice have no fans and weirdly, or perhaps not so weirdly, no friends) and their singer was rude to my friend and had the cheek to do it while wearing a stupid orange vest thing.
BJDI Rating = SHIT

Good Other Things:On Sunday night we saw Shimura Curves at somebody's, er, unit next to London Fields. They were much, much better than Cleckhuddersafax and weren't rude to anyone. In fact they were pretty damn brave to do a gig in someones living room eyeball to eyeball with their friends. In that context friends are way more intimidating than strangers.
BJDI Rating = REALLY GOOD

ONe More Thing: Another thing I did was put together a BJD demo, a process that consumed about 1000 times more of my week than I had planned for, partly because I'm an anal perfectionist and partly because my mouse pad is oversensitive. I haven't tried to find out what she really says, but the second line of Morningwood's 'Jetsetter' sounds just like 'I'm weeing in my cups'. I just checked, apparently she's saying 'I'm ennui and in my cups' which makes less sense, because ennui is a noun, right?

UPDATE: I've fixed my blog so it doesn't look so weird anymore

2006-03-30T06:37:00.000-08:00

I know it really isn't important to anybody else but I really have to post my weekly Last FM chart, just be thankful it's only the Top 5 and not the Top 20.

At number 1 this week are The Sounds, unsurprisingly. I'm a little bit bored of them right now though.

At number 2 are The Chalets, um because I like them and I only really took them in after I saw this PUNKCAST (scroll down a bit).

At number 3 it's Missing Persons, wooooo! Well I had to really didn't I what with all the The Sounds comparisons and whatnot.

At number 4 is well, Throwing Muses. I like 50 Foot Wave (free music!), see, and wanted to listen to some old Kristin Hersh.

At number 5 is The Pretenders a band I still can't get into despite numerous attempts to do so. Is there something wrong with me? (Admittedly it was a singles compilation and I am a bit of an album track person).

Right, play out is Missing Persons - Walking in LA.

dire things about media no.1: The Observer Music Monthly

2006-03-28T03:16:00.000-08:00

Life is a pain. It means I end up updating my blog with something I experienced almost a fortnight ago. And this isn't the first time, as any one who has read any post here has noticed the events I record tend to be posted sometime after the event.

Some particularly keen bloggers actually write their stuff as the event happens! I can't multi-task like that though...

So, yeah the Sunday after last's Observer Music Monthly was yet another work out in middle-aged befuddlement of the kind even Q or Mojo would shy away from. But this one outdid itself in the 'out-of-touch' stakes in just two sentences:

"Thanks to the success of the Arctic Monkeys, there's barely a soul who hasn't heard of MySpace. You'd be hard pushed, however, to find many over the age of 16 who actually know what it is"

WTF!? Anybody who has even heard of Myspace knows that there are quite literally millions of people over the age of 16 on Myspace, in fact for work I had to interview a bunch of 11 year olds and none of them had even heard of Myspace.

The remainder of the OMM's Top Five snippets of stupidity include:
2. An interview with Sh**ne W**d
3. An interview with Sh**ne W**d (sorry couldn't resist)
4. Putting James Bl**t at the top of the 'uppers' - I'll never tire of hating him and all he stands for.
5. Miranda Sawyer admitting to never having used her iPod - buy a fricking Zen moron, you don't need iTunes (actually, just buy a new computer).

Love Life set list 20th March 2006

2006-03-22T14:29:00.000-08:00

About 2 hours 20 mins here, a new world record for me......

Miss Kittin – Happy Violentine (Michael Mayer remix)
The Left Outsides - Leaving the Frozen Butterflies behind
Ellen Alien/Apparat – Way Out
The Robot Kraus – After Laughter Comes Tears
Aluminum Babe – Little Girl
Arcadia – Election Day
Dead Disco – The Treatment
50 Foot Wave – Hot, Pink, Distorted
The Veronicas – Revolution
Dark Throne – Love in a Void
Justice – One Minute to Midnight
Dynasty Electric Duo - Hourglass
Beangrowers – I like You
Buck 65 – Kennedy Killed the Hat (MSTRKRFT remix)
Sahara Hotnights – Alright Alright
Lita Ford – Blueberry
Mount Sims – No Yellow Lines
The Fitness – Day Job
Kiona – In This Car (remix)
Magneta Lane – Broken Plates
The Knife – Silent Shout
Datarock – Computer Camp Love
The Long Blondes – Autonomy Boy
Cansei de Ser Sexy – Meeting Paris Hilton
New Young Pony Club – Jerk Me
Lene Lovich – New Toy
The Sounds – Painted By Numbers
Cat5 – Play it Loud
Kudu – Magic Touch
Stereo Total – Everybody in the Discotheque (I hate)
Services – Element of Danger (MSTRKRFT remix)
W.O.W. – I Love Sex (& RnR)
The Vibration – 87
Pro Forma – Lapses in Diction
The Ettes – Dirty on the Inside
Duchess Says – Black Flag
Au Pairs – Inconvenience
Morningwood – Jetsetter
The Chalets – Love Punch
Wolfmother – Woman (MSTRKRFT remix)
White Rose Movement – Love is a Number (Black Strobe Remix)
Cansei de Ser Sexy – Lets Make Love and Listen to Death From Above
Hot Chip – Over & Over
Testicicles – What’s Your Damage (Alan Braxe and Fred Falke remix)
YYYs - Honey Bear

Apologies for all the MSTRKRFT remixes, there's no excuse, but there is a reason - this blog

Pick of the evening ?... well I'm really into 'Painted by Numbers' by The Sounds, but I reckon every music blog ever will have that song on at the moment. So I'm putting up The Vibration and Kudu - bitching tracks

The Vibration - 87

Kudu - Magic Touch

Excellent Things about Music No. 2: Miss T & The Japanese Tourists acoustic set at Madame Jo Jos Thursday 9th March

2006-03-15T06:06:00.000-08:00

Okay so this post is 2 weeks (and a day) after the event, but I've been busy and blogger was playing up, so...

After some mysterious disappearing tour dates I finally caught Miss T & the JTs only to find that their drummer was ill meaning we were to be treated to an impromptu acoustic set, which was jolly decent of them given that they were toying with the idea of cancelling altogether.

A short but very sweet set followed and we were mightily impressed with the guitar skills and vocal prowess of the boys and girl on stage and are now all the more enthused to go see them at the Garage on 31st March. Favourite song of the night had to be 'Little Girl'. Why aren't they signed??

And another thing: Miss T has totally got the Stevie Nicks look down which is so cool, Stevie is way too overlooked.

Amazing things about the Internet No 1: Last FM

2006-03-15T05:39:00.000-08:00

Who needs another virtual social space on the fricking internet? Not me, unless it compiles my own personal hit parade, which is the thing I love about Last FM.

I've long since outgrown the misguided belief that just because someone likes the same band as I do we're destined to be the best of friends, but I do love seeing what I've listened to on a week by week basis, even though I do listen to loads of stuff on my Zen that audioscrobbler will never know about (it's like having an affair).

I'm so excited about the egotistical nature of my own Top of the Pops style profile that I'm going to share it with everyone right here, together with an exhilirating commentary.

Hmm, maybe Top of the Pops could take a leaf out of my book and incorporate a kind of readers chart based on their LastFM profile. That would be way better than showing random 80s music videos.

According to LastFM I didn't listen to any music last week, but it reliably informs me that the week before The Like were at number 1, probably because I was going to see them live. At No 2 there was a surprise entry from Lucinda Williams who hasn't been in my charts since about 1999! At No 3 another surprise entry from Emmylou Harris. Boy, are those country girls making a comeback. At No 4 we have Datarock doing their weird thing and finally at No 5 we have Dynasty Electric Duo whom I know absolutely nothing about excpet I like one of their songs.

And to play us out here's Lucinda Williams with the title from her classic 1998 album - Car Wheels on a Gravel Road

Excellent Things About Music No.1: The Like live at the Barfly sunday 5th March

2006-03-15T05:38:00.000-08:00

As much as I love Terminator i always find myself cringing during the nightclub scene because as far as I'm concerned clubs just don't look like that and neither do the people who frequent them. Then I go to Camden and realise that they do and there are people who look like that, even on a Sunday afternoon.

The first point being that I think, along with (almost) everybody else over the of 18 that Camden is crap. The second point being that The Like made my trip there worthwhile despite this.

Even though they only look about 16 and their instruments look a bit too big for them they were damn tight, like way tighter than most bands of a similar age. And their songs sounded even better live than they did on album.

Hopefully The Like will inspire more girls to be in bands because I'm bored shitless of overly sincere unoriginal boy-indie. Just because you have a really long scraggy fringe doesn't make you a rock icon!

I always go on about this don't I.

Amazing things about computer games No.1: The Dark Mod

2006-03-08T07:12:00.000-08:00

As an earlier post has revealed I'm not ashamed to admit that I like (maybe even love) computer games, especially the Thief series (yes, even Deadly Shadows, which to those fortunate enough not to be initiated is the one all the people who loved the first two Thief games hate).

So I almost, but definitely did not (just assuring my girlfriend), wet my pants when I discovered the Dark Mod.

They're in the process of converting the Doom 3 engine into a Thief-like stealth game, which is actually way way more interesting than it sounds. The graphics look really nice and creepy and the characters have that wonderful dead look (the most realistic computer game 'skin' looks like a dead body's skin). Just look at the picture.

They haven't finished it yet, so perhaps my 'amazing' rating is a bit premature, and I will have to buy a copy of Doom 3 to play it, and then third party computer games geeks will have to make levels/campaigns, but I'm sticking to my bladder muscle exercises in anticipation of this one.

BJDI new index system

2006-03-08T07:00:00.000-08:00

Seeing as this blog is called 'The Bjorn Dow Jones Index' it seems weird that there isn't actually an indexes, because the Dow Jones Index has loads, look.

So from this day forward I'm introducing the pateneted BJD Index system by which the subjects of my blogging will be categorised, i.e. music, computergames, internet, random cultural things and suchlike, and rated, i.e. amazing, excellent, good, OK, so so, shitty, dire etc. This terminology will probably change, but in the mean time it will suffice.

At the end of every month(ish) an index will be published showing which categories have been the most 'amazing' and the most 'dire' etc.

The New Face(s) of the Indie Girl?

2006-02-22T05:57:00.000-08:00

Take a look at these two. It's like every indie cliche x 1,0000,000 (their 'Top 10' section is eye-gougingly embarrassing) crossed with a really cheap prostitute.

And I thought Suicide Girls had that image wrapped.

Am I guilty of nostalgia or did indie girls have a lot more self respect than this at one time?

It seems that in lieu of any high profile girl indie musicians, things have reverted back to the 'tits and arse' of yesteryear, only a bit more lo fi.

Who's fault is it: girls being too lazy/wet to be bothered doing anything or laddish indie zines refusing to take them seriously, answers below please?

See, I told you...

2006-02-03T03:52:00.000-08:00

Look, America's most indie webzine reviews Darkthrone... and gives it a pretty good rating (given that they're the most stingey raters ever)... what next - 'corpse paint' the new look at Trash?

Wafflecast

2006-02-01T07:10:00.000-08:00

In a further move to increase the diversity of this blog's content I've added a conversation (or wafflecast) I recorded about buying things online... it wasn't my idea, work made me do it.

Thanks to those who volunteered their opinions and experiences, especially the bit about the East End OAP dogging spot, oh the ills of gentrification...

Download and listen

Not Food (and not music)

2006-01-30T08:02:00.000-08:00

I'm not doing food after all but I do want to do something that isn't music. So I thought about it and I decided against all my better judgements that I was going to do politics, but then I realised that it simply wouldn't fit in with the rest of this blog, what with its stupid name and the stupid names of the bands and the songs that get mentioned on here.

So instead, I'm going to write some stuff about a subject that goes hand in hand with stupid names - computer games.

Now, I know computer games are normally the exclusive arena of the most repellent and socially retarded of geeks, but they are actually great fun so long as you play in moderation and try to avoid the most morally ambiguous and stupid of games you should feel none of the less pleasant side effects (i.e. MMORPGs).

Now Thief: Deadly Shadows (pictured) may not sound particularly moralistic, but Garret (see, a stupid name) does save the universe through his nimble fingered exploits and it is set in a world where the less well-off patrons appear to be the imbecilic descendants of Bert from Mary Poppins so reality clearly wasn't too high on the agenda for the makers. So there are no worries about slipping into a spate of rampant kleptomania when you're finished. Words don't really do it justice and you can get it really cheap on ebay (mine was a Russian version and cost less than £3).

Plus it has the scariest level ever..... ever. Even scarier than this

Lovelife Set 9th January

2006-01-10T11:04:00.000-08:00

Due to some 'issues' at 93 Feet East my two sets ended up being one long 2 hour one, which wasn't anywhere near as bad as I expected:

Escape From New York - Save Our Love (Instrumental)
Kunst - Miss K
Caged Baby - 16 Lovers (Golden Triangle remix)
The Mendoza Line - Golden Boy
Frigo - Dressed For Success
Siouxsie & the Banshees - Christine
Would Be Goods - Miss La Di Da
Alice Cooper - Billion Dollar Babies
Paris - Another Saturday Night
The Presets - Girl and Sea
Kelly Polar - Here in the Night
Deerhoof - Wrong Time Capsule
Skye Sweetnam - Hypocrite
Datarock - Computer Camp Love
The Embassy - Some Indulgence
The Like - Falling Away
Pretty Vicious - Hollywood Fever
The Human League - I Love You Too Much (Original Version)
Gary Numan - Metal
Mount Sims - 9 Volts
We Are Wolves - Little Bird
Quintron & Miss Pussycat - Fly Like a Rat
Donna Summer - Nightlife (extended re-edit)
Aluminum Babe - Everything 2 Me (remix version)
Queen Adreena - Pretty Like Drugs
dataPanik - Sense Not Sense
Avenue D - USA No1
Noblesse Oblige - Bitch
Men Without Hats - Safety Dance
Crossover - Apples on a Stick
The A-Lines - Four
Cansei Se Der Sexy - Lets Make Love and Listen to Death From Above
Anita Hill - Radio
Robyn - Be Mine (Verschwende Deine Jugend remix)
Cat5 - Sexy
Pretty Vicious - Shake
Devo - Gut Feeling

All I can say is, those people who didn't come into 93 Feet East because of the big puddle, sombrely drawn curtains and missing bar staff, missed out on alot of good music, so stop being so wet, if you hadn't stayed up til 9am on New years Eve/Day you wouldn't feel as shit as you do now, so get over it.

Two tracks I think I liked best from this are:

They're Brazilian, they're good and, er, that's the sum of my knowledge about Cansei Se Der Sexy - Let's Make Love & Listen to Death From Above

And this is funny and good - Datarock - Computer Camp Love

Song of the Day No.6 'Radio' by Anita Hill

2006-01-04T04:47:00.000-08:00

I don't know anything about this band, because they're French (I assume) and everything that has been written about them or by them seems to be in French too.

In fact, I came across them purely by accident on a French guy's (or girl's) blog . If you understand French go to their website and please tell me what it says. And also download their demo for free, yay.

In my (very limited) experience of French music, it is by and large, crap, particularly their guitar based music, and I'm still trying to convince myself that somehow they aren't French, maybe they just live there and speak the language, because no matter how positive the front of my mind is about Anita Hill the back of my mind is spluttering condescendingly about the front of my mind's lack of musical taste.

But this song rocks, and damn hard at that. Just listen to it and try to forget they're French.

Anita Hill - Radio

Oh yeah, the next post will be about food, honest.

BORED,BORED,BORED etc.

2006-01-04T04:18:00.000-08:00

There are too many blogs about music, no, in fact there are too many words written about music full stop. Is it really that good? I know it is good, especially when you're in your teens, but does it really deserve so much attention. Think about it, on the scale of humankind's achievements, is music really all that amazing? How about the pyramids or even a skyscraper, or a bridge. Imagine what would have happened if all the bridge builders decided to make music instead, we'd be fucked then wouldn't we. All music does is make people move rhythmically or smile or relax or whatever, it doesnt do big things like provide a solution to world poverty (no matter how hard you try, Geldof) or enact miracles.

Mostly, it's made by fame hungry egotists (i.e. utter cocks (see picture)) who believe their 'genius' has a god given right to success and wealth, our wealth, and we fall for it like the drooling morons we are, desperate to participate in the so-called 'creative' industries, that are in reality no more than a front for the business of lewd and perverse sexual acts and excessive drug consumption.

Er, right, before I come across as a total fascist, the point of this rant is that for my next few entries this blog is going to be dedicated to something far more essential to life than mere music - food!! Yes, food...

...mmmm

The Songs that crappy blogger wouldn't let me publish in my last post

2005-11-20T10:51:00.000-08:00

Here they are, only a whole damn week later than I'd like to have posted them

Judas Priest - Diamonds & Rust

Miss TK & The Revenge - Fake Italians Ain't No Stallions

Lovelife Sets 7th November

2005-11-12T07:04:00.000-08:00

Set 1
Kate Bush – Aerial
Klein & MBO – Dirty Talk
All Girl Summer Fun Band – Brooklyn Phone Call
Nina Hagen – TV Snooze
The Kills – No Wow (MSTRKRFT remix)
DMX Krew – The End of the World
Kate Bush – King of the Mountain
Jackson & His Computer Band – Utopia
Miss T & The Japanese Tourists – Little Girl
Blondie – Sunday Girl (French Version)
Kelly Polar – Beauty in the Moon
My Bloody Valentine – Only Shallow
Ladytron – Destroy Everything You Touch
The Rosebuds – Leaves Do Fall
Kim Wilde – Never Trust a Stranger With Your Heart
Robyn – Crash & Burn Girl
Frigo – Dressed (edit)
The Cardigans – Godspell
Judas Priest – Diamonds & Rust
Juliette & the Licks – Money in My Pocket
Shocking Blue – Send Me a Postcard
Clor – Dangerzone
The Sisters of Mercy – This Corrosion

Set 2
dataPanik – Sense Not Sense
The Enevelopes – Sister n Love (Sam E Danger remix)
Peaches – Kick It
Holly & the Italians – Tell That Girl to Shut Up
Cobra Killer – I Like it When it Burns a Bit
The Knife – Listen Now
Dolly Parton – Burning
The A Frames – Experiment
Deep Purple – Speed King
Sigue Sigue Sputnik – Everybody Loves You (Tok Tok & Soffy O remix)
Electralane – On Parade
T. Raumschmiere – Sick Like Me
The Misfits – American Psycho
Miss TK & the Revenge – Fake Italians Ain’t No Stallions
Nous Non Plus – File Atomique
Cat5 – Play This Loud (Konstruction remix)
Robyn – Who’s That Girl
Hanin Elias – You Suck
The Like – What I Say and What I Mean
John Parr – St Elmo’s Fire
Von Iva - Showboat

Decided to lower the volume of 'oldies' this time round, my last set looked as though it was chosedn by my mum, albeit my mum on a particularly rockin' day. It was much fun to play as some of these tracks I'd only very recently heard myself... including the gatuitous Kate Bush plugs.

Managed to get 3 examples of 'Girl's name & the Somebodys' type bands in, including two who's 'girl's names' began 'Miss T...' ....

Wanted to try and choose two tracks that represented each set, but it was too hard so I chose Judas Priest, because some guy asked me 'who the hell is butchering this song?' and a 'Miss T' song.

dataPanik (new 'best Scottish' band from Bis members) and Miss T & the Japanese Tourists if you can't be arsed to scroll down.

BACK IN BLACK (METAL)

2005-11-03T06:19:00.000-08:00

Who would have thought, 14 years ago that fateful day when I picked up ‘A Blaze in the Northern Sky’ by Darkthrone (coolest cover ever), in Penny Lane Records on Bold Street (Liverpool)that Black Metal would ever become acceptable in any shape or form. The auspices weren’t good; its distant precursor thrash metal had achieved a modicum of credibility through bands like Metallica, Slayer and Megadeth; its immediate precursor, death metal, was still considered incongruous noise by the mainstream rock press, let alone the mainstream press; and Black metal, well…. Black Metal was a bunch of long-haired misanthropic Scandinavian kids posing in make-up, waving pseudo-medieval weaponry above their heads, screeching about Satan and Vikings over a hissing racket that only the most involved would recognise as guitars – what chance did it have. Oh yeah, and the now infamous spate of murders and church burnings that followed obviously didn’t help…

Look at it now though. It has had a whole photography exhibition dedicated to its subculture, courtesy of Pete Best (which I took my mum to see at the Horse Hospital last year) and Black Metal reviews are appearing in ‘credible’ if not hugely popular music magazines such as The Wire and Boomkat, and even non-Black metal fans are starting to Southern Lord (coolest label name ever) have had an awful lot to do with it. By taking the sludgy guitars of doom and the repetitive hum of drone music a whole audience of bespectacled music nerds realised that the utter distortion of this kin dof music had some worth. Although the first few Sun O))) albums were more doom n drone experiment, bringing on board the likes of Merzbow, in the last couple of years they’ve brought in actual Black Metal types to help them out and covered an Immortal song on ‘Black One’.

In turn Black metal itself seems to have had a resurgence of sorts, in the form of the latest releases from Darkthrone, ‘Sardonic Wrath’, and 1349, ‘Hellfire’, the latter of which I truly believe is actually the sound of evil, although whether or not these albums will ever get as far as The Wire remains to be seen. The important thing is, that this is the kind of music I would paint Citadel Miniatures to, I kid you not (images coming soon).

SONG OF THE DAY No.5 ‘Who’s That Girl’ by Robyn

2005-10-20T04:42:00.000-07:00

I know I shouldn’t, I know she sounds pikey as hell and I take some relief from the fact that being from Sweden she actually probably isn’t very pikey, in fact I don’t even know if there are any pikeys in Sweden, surely, in fact, there can be no such class divide in a society that prides itself on its socialist and liberal values.

Phew, I feel better now that I’ve convinced myself that this song isn’t pikey, because I really love it (in fact I love most of the album, but I always seem to end up liking the first track the most). Apparently this has been out in Sweden for ages and ages and was top of the album charts there. I didn’t discover it until two weeks ago when by chance I read some American indie website review of it. The best thing about this song is the way it sounds really 80s without actually trying to, unlike most of the electro/synthpop wannabes that plague labels such as IDG and the like (apparently she was helped with this one by a Swedish electro duo called The Knife, who I now want to hear too). And she actually writes songs, not just sounds. (Plus check out the Kate Bush-a-like sound on ‘Be Mine’). And you can hear a little bit of it here.

A PLAYLIST FROM THE PAST

2005-10-12T12:51:00.000-07:00

Well from a few weeks back anyway.
Highlights would have to be Emerson Lake and Palmer, although I only played half of it, it was quite clearly the best half, Wendy O Williams, cause it’s a funny song title ‘I love Sex… (oh yeah and er rock’n’roll or something)’ and Iron Maiden ‘Running Free’ because it’s pretty sing along for a Maiden track. Unfortunately I didn’t get to play The Misfits and Lene Lovich…

SONG(S!) OF THE DAY No.4 Little Girl / Crawling by Miss T & The Japanese Tourists

2005-10-12T12:39:00.000-07:00

How me and my girlfriend laughed as we listened to Andrew Eldritch’s benchmark album Floodland one quiet Sunday afternoon. Pompous, pretentious, melodramatic etc, yeah well of course it damn well is, this is The Sisters of Mercy, not Oasis or something.

Along with Black Metal, ‘Goth’ is one of those genres that I have been listening to a little more regularly than I probably should have, primarily in the shape of Bauhaus and Siouxsie and the Banshees, with a hint of Type O Negative, and I was glad to see a new band flying the Goth flag, albeit half-cocked. I picked up on Miss T & the Japanese Tourists on a message board and was extra happy to find downloadable tracks on their website. And what cool songs they are, one uptempo one and one slowy. It would be too obvious to compare them with S&tB, plus Miss T (the singer) posits Stevie Nicks as a big influence (“the surreal spine chilling voice of stevie nicks....beyond amazing!”) and although I wouldn’t say it’s the most obvious influence, if you listen carefully you can hear it, honest. I suppose it would be fair to say that they do a frikking good job of making old influences sound new, which is what all the best music does, or has done I reckon since the 50s, what better compliment I can give.

By the way check out the weird Siouxsie and the Banshees ‘cardboard box’ shop on Borough High Street.

THE MORAL

2005-10-04T04:43:00.000-07:00

Treat the activity of album listening like sensible drinking - pace yourself, don’t mix your genres, make sure you eat something, don’t do it in the afternoon or on your own, erm.. Yeah, that’s enough really.

THE PLAIN

2005-09-27T07:42:00.000-07:00

I needed rock, I needed verse-chorus-verse, I needed riffs, maybe I even needed a guitar solo. With hindsight I really did need a guitar solo. Instead I got Future Perfect by Autolux. I wanted to give it a chance, I did really, but I couldn’t stop the words ‘generic indie crap’ forming in my mind and by the third song it had gotten a lot nastier than that. What happened next you ask? Well I’d seen it sitting there, I’d read lots of positive reviews, but I didn’t really want to have to listen to the parent-friendly folk of Martha Wainwright. But it seemed so innocent, so inoffensive, I couldn’t resist. For a time its Joni Mitchell-esque swirls lifted my mood, then I got bored. So in desperation I put on Shopping for Images by Midaircondo. But, I so wasn’t in the mood for jazz inflected electronica. So in the dying hours of my musicothon I put on Diamond Head in the hope that some classic NWOBHM would do the trick but it was too late, nothing could save me and so I put on the TV and preceded to watch Heartbeat or the other one that’s like it that’s set in a Glen or something.

THE DEPRESSING

2005-09-27T07:41:00.000-07:00

I imagine anyone familiar with Colder’s Heat would have put this bottom on the list of ‘warm bosom’ listening material. Jesus Christ, talk about depressing. No don’t. Depressing doesn’t do it justice. This is the soundtrack to seeing your cat get run over. I reckon I was on my 4th or 5th cup of tea by now and even its rejuvenating powers couldn’t save me. Why I then decided to put Black Dice’s Broken Ear Record on is something I can only put down to my disturbed state of mind at the time. If this is actually more accessible sounding than their previous stuff, as most reviews seem to suggest, then I guess I got off lightly, but to my poor ears, even Beaches & Canyons would have been a preferable option.

THE BORING

2005-09-27T07:36:00.000-07:00

So with recommendations from a much esteemed source I ventured into an album by a band I’ve ignored because I thought they’d sound too folky and twee for me as many artists seem to do at the moment (I wasn’t going to mention how much I hate Joanna Newsom’s voice, but I couldn’t help it). Sons & Daughters’ Repulsion Box started off well enough, it was shouty and aggressive and if there were any fiddles, accordions or hurdy gurdies I couldn’t damn well hear them, thank Christ. But I was fast approaching my limits, less than midway through my album marathon I felt myself falter – those nice rock-sounding noises started to sound suspiciously like ‘celtic rock’ noises, like ‘whoops’ and ‘yeearrrs’. I should have stopped there put up with whatever crap Sunday afternoon TV could have thrown at me (or watched a beloved episode of Robin of Sherwood), but I thought I had the solution. The Horrorpops album Hell Yeah suggested two minute punk-based pop blasts that would re-new my flagging aural capabilities. It lasted for two songs, before the singer decided that she wanted to be Gwen Stefani. And to think I’d almost fallen for The Misfits comparison. I managed to get to track 6. In rapid retreat I sought familiar territory in the shape of Broadcast’s Tender Buttons. Maybe I’m alone in preferring The Noise Made by People to their subsequent material, but Tender Buttons sounded way too much like Ha Ha Sound to me – cold, detached, a bit scary. I needed a warm bosom to comfort me in my 45 minutes of need and this just wasn’t it.

THE GOOD/EXCELLENT

2005-09-27T07:33:00.000-07:00

I started off with much enthusiasm around 11am with Cobra Killer’s 76-77. Doing silly, faux cabaret dances and being from Berlin had made me snigger a little the occasions on which I’d seen these girls live, but I had fairly low hopes for this one. I didn’t care at this point though, nothing could bring me down, I was probably drinking a nice cup of tea while I was listening to it. And lo and behold I actually enjoyed it, despite the opener sounding uncannily similar to the joke-version-of-the-kind-of-song-an-‘arty’-girl-duo-from-Berlin-would-do I had in my head, there was actually a few songs on there. ’10,000 Tissues’ was especially song-like. Next up I was fairly certain I was onto a winner – Ladytron’s latest The Witching Hour. Things had just stepped up a notch. Sounding even less electroclash than they had ever sounded, which wasn’t very, this was all that I expected plus some and sounded as far from Berlin as Birmingham, or wherever the hell they’re from. The second song did it for me, ‘Destroy Everything You Touch’ is the pinnacle. Even the ropey Trevor Jackson remixes of ‘Sugar’ couldn’t stunt my buoyant mood at this juncture. And although the embryo of a rant about the ‘dance-floorifying’ of music was gestating at the back of my mind, it was… er, rapidly aborted before birth could take place (apologies for that tasteless metaphor).

THIS IS NOT AN ALBUM REVIEW

2005-09-27T07:28:00.000-07:00

It’s a music based story that just so happens to include my thoughts on some albums I was listening to, alright. Although they are the subject of the story too… them and er… my feelings as the experience progressed. Yeah ‘feelings’, terribly ‘blog’ I know.
I’d been too busy (also the reason I’ve written nothing for ages) to listen to these albums one by one, so foolishly, I decided to listen to them all in one sitting. My advice: don’t do it, just don’t. The music disappears and you’re left with hiss and drone, kind’ve like something off the Rune Grammofon label minus the artistic intentions. Others have commented on the subject of

Metal Gods

2005-09-06T05:03:00.000-07:00

As if there wasn't enough proof already that 'the Maiden' are the best band ever, their show at Reading was sublime. Why? Why? I'm trying to keep this blog entry short, don't tempt me to try some improv epic poetry. The best bits: Bruce almost welling as the crowd spontaneously start chanting 'Maiden, Maiden' (why hasn't this man been knighted?), Satan himself on stage (that red blob to the lower left of the guy doing a 'devil's horns' hand), The Phantom of the Opera, Murders in the Rue Morgue, Running Free, Run to the Hills, Number of the Beast, Prowler.... etc.

Song of the Day No 3: 'Mare of the Night' by Magneta Lane

2005-08-31T11:06:00.000-07:00

Yeah, that's right it's a 'modern song', not some nostalgia riddenth 80s rock tribute, so.

When I first heard their EP late last year I liked what I heard, it was pretty ballsy, I was expecting some indie-whinge fest thanks to my narrow minded preconceptions, but I couldn't pick out a stand out song. But now that I've heard 'Mare of the Night' about 6 times in the past few days in preparation for a set I can safely say this is my favourite from the album. And I don't care about the hype that surrounds them in the US, they deserve to be hyped, way more than most of the 'serious' guitar music that the the music press have taken to tremblingly fellating, metaphorically speaking.

In fact I would go as far as saying that new music by new female bands (see Von Iva and The Soviettes) kicks the shit out of the blokes (see The Lost Patrol Band and The Ponys), who are too busy trying to come across as 'sensitive and intelligent' to bother to remember that they're fricking rock bands. The balls are firmly in the girls camp on this one.

I like the fat, heavy drums the warbly melody and the fuzz of the guitars and her voice is the best I've heard since that woman who fronts the Detroit Cobras. And the song isn't really obvious, which is why I probably shouldn't play it in my set, but I like it. They're also Canadian and the singer is called Lexi Valentine which is up there with the Belladonnas of this world.

Genrefication: part 2

2005-08-31T08:09:00.000-07:00

So based on a bit of thinking and the minimum of research I've come up with the following genre categorisations:

1. RELATIONAL
This is a category of genres the name of which arises from their relationship to other music forms, typically their chronological relationship. For example classical music, traditional music and any genres with 'post', 'new' or 'neo' prefixes. Relational also includes genres such as 'alternative', 'progressive', 'avant garde' or 'hardcore' that are defined in opposition to something else. Some people probably think this is the most lazy way of titling genres, but I think it makes music sound more serious, like in history and archaeology where they refer to periods like the Post-Roman or Pre-War. And although it doesn't really explain what the music sounds like (often because it's quite heterogeneous) you can have a fair guess what it doesn't sound like.

2. MOVEMENT
Genres with names that relate to the way in which people moved to the music, such as Rock 'n' Roll, Swing and obviously 'Dance' music. My general feeling on this is that this was preferred nomenclature for early music genres, although obviously not the case for Dance, although I think that name might have been used in the early 20th Century too. Don't know why moving was so important for early genrefication, maybe because of the name of the dance pre-figured the music with which it was associated. Will have to research this a little more.

3. TECHNOLOGY (using the term anthropologically)
Genres with names derived from the kind of technology and instruments used to create the music. This can range from very generic genre titles such as 'techno', 'electronica', 'lo-fi' to genres with more specific reference to the instruments used such as 'Drum and Bass' or 'Rap'. This category has some overlap with the next one SOUND. This one seems to be quite recent, perhaps something to do with the tangible difference in the sound of music when it broke from using traditional instruments.

4. SOUND
A fairly self explnatory one really, this is for genres that are named after the way they sound, e.g. 'minimalist', 'glitch', 'speed metal' etc.Obviously 'Drum and Bass' and 'Rap' fit into this category to some degree too. Another quite recent one I think, linked to those reasons given above. I guess 'heavy metal' would come under this one too.

5. PROVENANCE
Musical genres the derive their title from the region, country or loale where in the past they became associated with. Examples include, 'Americana', Honky Tonk', 'Madchester', Kraut Rock', 'Merseybeat', 'Latino', Arena Rock' etc. Personally I think these are the least imaginative of all the genre categories. But they are the most easy to imagine. I suppose technically alot of these ones are linked to 'scenes' so you can automatically conjur up images in your head that are associated with them

6. SUBJECT
I can't think of that many genres that fit this category, but I guess 'Emo', 'Death Metal', 'Blues' all qualify.

There is also a seventh category which I'm struggling to come up with a name for. It's quite heterogeneous, but aren't they all a bit. This as yet un-named category covers those genres named after the people who make and listen to the music, that can be characterised by specific attitudes and sometimes ways of dressing. This includes 'Goth', 'Punk', 'Riot Grrrl' etc. The problem is where does 'pop' fit in? It's certainly a way of defining artist and audience, but the audience is often very varied and the artists aren't always technically popular.But then again that's the problem with music, it's always changing. You could argue that 'pop' is a sound that is devised to appeal to as many people as possible, that would put it in the SOUND category, funny that today's pop doesn't really appeal to the masses. Maybe the should re-name it Teen Music.

Song of the Day No.2: 'I Hate Myself for Loving You' Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

2005-08-17T03:17:00.000-07:00

"Ooh, didn't she do that 'I Love Rock 'n' Roll' one, that Britney did a cover version of?" Not an actual quote, just one I made up in my head. A slight variation on the 'band everyone has heard of but not many people have actually heard' (see Song of the Day No.1 'Caught in a Mosh' Anthrax), this is the band everyone knows one song by but hasn't actually heard anything else they've done. I seem to remember 'I Love Rock 'n' Roll' getting played by 'trendy' Radio 1 djs a good few years before the whole rock 'n' roll thing took off again and along with the video it does have a certain iconic thing going for it, but it's appropriation by overdressed, sullen teens and trustafarian hacks like the Queens of Noize has depreciated its value somehwat.

But the main point is that I actually like 'I Hate Myself for Loving You' better than 'I Love Rock 'n' Roll'; it's like the smarter, prettier sister who doesn't get the attention she deserves just because the less smart/thicker sister dresses like a slut. My technical knowledge of music can be located somewhere between zero and 0.0001, so I'm not going to try and prove anything I say on that basis, but IHMFLY sounds like a more full song, with more parts and more variation and better harmonies or something. If I'm really honest I think it just deserves to be played in public a little more (which doesn't necessarily mean the public deserve to hear it more). Then Joan Jett will be known for 2/3 songs (I think 'Bad Reputation' has also been played a few times in films and stuff) which can only be good.

Postnote: What the hell does Britney Spears think she is? She doesn't look sexy at the best of times, the best being compared to a chubby faced under age Bratz doll, but in that ILRnR video it's like watching a ropey Thai transexual attempt to convince you that he is genuinely female through a combination of excessive pouting and the rubbing of non-existent or, more alarmingly, incorrect reproductive organs. If covering a classic rock song was designed to lend Britney a touch of credibility they could at least have left her out of the video. It definitely didn't improve my experience of Brussels airport.

Genrefication: Part 1

2005-08-05T07:33:00.000-07:00

'Genres' are the kind of things people in blatantly generic bands and poncy music journalists claim to hate. I can easily picture an interview in the cursed NME, where some nob journalist who thinks he's doing the world a favour through his choice of career is interviewing an utterly shit band, like Razorlight, and says something like 'you've been compared to 'X' in some of the reviews of your latest album, what are your thoughts on that?' and the singer, who takes himself way too seriously, says in a really self righteous manner 'Well, it's good to be compared to 'X', they're a band we really respect, but we don't like to be pigeon-holed, on our next album we're going to be experimenting with some new sounds'. 'Like what?' the journalist says. 'Well, like, on one of the tracks we've dropped in some Gamelan drums... etc.' And you really really want the journalist to say 'Shut up, you nob! You're just another band on the Fordist line of bandwagon-jumping 'garage rock' wannabes who mistake their tribute band level talent for musical genius. You look like 'X' and sound like 'X', the only difference between you and 'X' is that you're about a millionth as original cos they did it years ago. The only reason anyone buys your stupid records at all is because, we put a drug on the pages of NME that can be absorbed through the skin that makes teenagers think whatever we say is the absolute truth'.

I on the other hand, think genres are one of humanity's best inventions. I love them because they represent the epitomy of humanity's desperate struggle to categorise everything regardless of how difficult an undertaking it is, resulting in some truly remarkable genre names, like Symphonic Viking Metal and Intelligent Dance Music (the ones with three or more words are the best). People who are averse to genrefication are standing in the face of millenia of human behaviour at it's most pedantic. Humans love to create systems out of randomness. But all our systems have an in built logic no matter how obscure they appear from the outside (see Mary Douglas's attempt to understand the categorisations in Leviticus if you're a geek or alternatively think about how we categorise fruit and vegetables and still don't quite believe that a tomato is a fruit). The question is; how does the genre system work?

This is an ongoing project of Genre Recognition, so here's my first stab at it and it isn't easy. Over at www.allmusic.com they have a section that lists all the genres they could think of this total comes to over 1000, counting only a few overlaps. Now some of these are hybrid or hyphenated genres like 'electro-acoustic' or 'neo-traditional', but they still count. In fact one of the coolest thing about genres is that they are almost limitlessly composite. But, back to the basics.

Firstly where do genres get their names? This is really complex, as genres seem to get their names from loads of different things. My head really hurt working out this, and there are probably some I've missed out or got a bit wrong.
See part 2 for the results of my labour.

Song of the Day No.1: 'Caught in a Mosh', Anthrax

2005-08-02T04:56:00.000-07:00

This is the first in a series of songs that get stuck in my head, that I intend to use next time I 'dj'*
Anthrax, like many heavy metal bands with cool names, are on of those bands that everyone's heard of, but nobody's heard. Ok apart from 'Bring the Noise' but that was with Public Enemy, so it doesn't count. Part of my 'dj'* manifesto is to complete listeners knowledge of music, and the best way to do that is through a song that fully captures what a band are about.

Anthrax were the least serious of the Thrash 'Big Four' (the others being Metallica, Slayer and Megadeth) and to the untrained ear their early stuff has all the hallmarks of a faster Spinal Tap. The benefits of which are reaped by the quality of cover artwork, as seen here on the right for their first album 'Fistful of Metal', which I think is a severed head through which a fist has been punched and has emerged through the mouth, at a weird angle, kind've from the side. (The cover for the album from which Caught in a Mosh was part (Among the Living), is actually a real letdown in the cheesy metal artwork stakes (although the cover for 'I'm the Man' (Anthrax's first attempt at 'rap' is quite funny)).

Anyway, 'Caught in a Mosh' apart from being one of the best thrash songs displaying the use of a verb as a noun, is a classic workout. It has a shouty, tunless, uptempo bit and a melodic chorus thanks to their singer who at the time was Joey Belladonna, which is an even better name than Quorthon, from Bathory. Even though it's not literally about being caught in a mosh it has some of the best 'weird lyrics', like - 'Shut up, shut up, I don’t wanna hear your mouth', 'Cold sweat, my fists are clenching / Stomp, stomp, stomp the idiot convention' and finally 'You’re always in the way, like a beast on my back / Were you dropped as a baby, cause brains you lack' - and seeing as i don't know how to post mp3s or if it's even legal to do that, lyrics is the best you're going to get.

The question is what do I play to the fore and aft? Not something to rocky, it'd be overkill, not something completely different cos it would sound too weird. Maybe I should just wimp out and play 'I'm the Man' or even worse 'Bring the Noise'. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

* This term will get an entry to itself, because it's a vile, ugly acronym.